I was just taking a moment to read some friends' blogs and I realized after posting like a thousand words in a comment, I was in a blubbering mood and it may be kind of theraputic to spit it out...
I have no time to be doing this because in an effort to give Connor some extra lovin' and myself a little rest, I laid down with him at the start of nap and fell asleep. For almost two hours. (I don't claim this to be an unusual phenomena, as I often require a nap still, but when it's in my bed, I set an alarm!) Thankfully, the boys are both still sleeping, so I can be cleaning the house for OCF tonight, cooking dinner and posting this little blurb.
Any of you reading, please pray for our sweet Connor. Oh how I love that child, but he has the determination and lasting power of an energizer bunny. He has not eaten since Tuesday at Noon (That's 51, FIFTY-ONE hours ago!) because he simply refuses to try one bite of spaghetti. Just ONE bite. He is living on water, and pitifully, any cheerios that have escaped the Dyson. Surely this would end today, right, but I have serious doubts. I was feeling a little panicky at lunch when he refused to eat because he's getting kinda run down. He still has energetic moments, but I can see it taking a toll. And boy is he GROUCHY.
I stayed up until 1:30am (part of why I needed a nap!) devouring Dr. Dobson's book, The Strong-Willed Child. We've had friends tell us that they don't think Connor is such, but he sure isn't a compliant kid like some. A child development specialist was very encouraging to me this week in removing some of our parental guilt and boosting our self-esteem about how we have handled him so far. We aren't perfect, but he isn't this stubborn beast because we failed/are failing to train him and discipline him in God's love. I so needed to hear that. And, so far, I am enjoying the book because it, too, is making me feel less guilty. People, family, friends, strangers in the Commissary - all can make you feel like the worst parent in the world when you've got a kid whose "strength of the will" far exceeds most other toddlers.
That all said, pray that God will soften Connor's will and give him the desire to try new foods and to have the taste to enjoy things that nourish his body. And pray for Alan and I to be patient and calm as we stand our ground. I am feeling some serious battle scars already. I don't want Connor to feel them, too.
On a completely separate note, I did finally write a Christmas letter and got those all mailed off today. HOORAY! They'd been looming on my "to-do" list since before Thanksgiving. For over two weeks, they'd been addressed stamped and ready to go, but that darn letter... Another blogging friend posted similar issues to mine. It's so hard to write a letter that is REAL. You know, one about what God is doing in your lives, not just a list of accomplishments or activities from the year, which is what most are and it's what mine ended up to be because I just had to cross it off my list. If you want the real stuff, read the blog. You got it today!
I have no time to be doing this because in an effort to give Connor some extra lovin' and myself a little rest, I laid down with him at the start of nap and fell asleep. For almost two hours. (I don't claim this to be an unusual phenomena, as I often require a nap still, but when it's in my bed, I set an alarm!) Thankfully, the boys are both still sleeping, so I can be cleaning the house for OCF tonight, cooking dinner and posting this little blurb.
Any of you reading, please pray for our sweet Connor. Oh how I love that child, but he has the determination and lasting power of an energizer bunny. He has not eaten since Tuesday at Noon (That's 51, FIFTY-ONE hours ago!) because he simply refuses to try one bite of spaghetti. Just ONE bite. He is living on water, and pitifully, any cheerios that have escaped the Dyson. Surely this would end today, right, but I have serious doubts. I was feeling a little panicky at lunch when he refused to eat because he's getting kinda run down. He still has energetic moments, but I can see it taking a toll. And boy is he GROUCHY.
I stayed up until 1:30am (part of why I needed a nap!) devouring Dr. Dobson's book, The Strong-Willed Child. We've had friends tell us that they don't think Connor is such, but he sure isn't a compliant kid like some. A child development specialist was very encouraging to me this week in removing some of our parental guilt and boosting our self-esteem about how we have handled him so far. We aren't perfect, but he isn't this stubborn beast because we failed/are failing to train him and discipline him in God's love. I so needed to hear that. And, so far, I am enjoying the book because it, too, is making me feel less guilty. People, family, friends, strangers in the Commissary - all can make you feel like the worst parent in the world when you've got a kid whose "strength of the will" far exceeds most other toddlers.
That all said, pray that God will soften Connor's will and give him the desire to try new foods and to have the taste to enjoy things that nourish his body. And pray for Alan and I to be patient and calm as we stand our ground. I am feeling some serious battle scars already. I don't want Connor to feel them, too.
On a completely separate note, I did finally write a Christmas letter and got those all mailed off today. HOORAY! They'd been looming on my "to-do" list since before Thanksgiving. For over two weeks, they'd been addressed stamped and ready to go, but that darn letter... Another blogging friend posted similar issues to mine. It's so hard to write a letter that is REAL. You know, one about what God is doing in your lives, not just a list of accomplishments or activities from the year, which is what most are and it's what mine ended up to be because I just had to cross it off my list. If you want the real stuff, read the blog. You got it today!
3 comments:
Loved your 'very real' post Kelly! I can so appreciate your struggle as Connor is proving to be a strong-willed child. We have
5 of them. I guess they are all different degrees of strong-willed though. I sometimes wonder why we weren't blessed with any quiet, always ready-to-please children as neither Carl or I were strong-willed when we were young. Skyler's mild autism and Chance's attention deficit make our days extra challenging. There are all a blessing nonetheless! I so admire your ability to stand firm, especially in the area of food. I know it's not easy! That is one area where I have failed miserably. I continue to find your blog to be encouraging and often entertaining and I consider it a priviledge to read it! I have not been good about taking time to post to mine recently but hopefully things will slow down after the holidays so I can record things before my memory totally goes. There is also a link to my blog on my facebook in 'info.' Merry Christmas & many blessings to you and your family!
Kelly and Alan-
Oh how my heart just cries when I read your post, our Luke fits Dobson's book to a tee, I just finished reading it myself last month in desperation and guilt! I was convinced that I had missed the boat and God had made a mistake at allowing me to be a Mom! He doesn't make mistakes thankfully! Hang in there, God has given us all we need to stand strong, even with strong willed toddlers! What great parents you are! Love, Mer
I am so sorry about your struggles with Conner, and I've got to say I know full-well what you're talking about. I have struggled for a long time with Jacob, and truly believe him to be mildly autistic (he's showing pretty much all the signs to some degree). Food is always the biggest problem, because of his texture issues. Trust me when I say that you are an awesome Mom. Whenever you feel guilt, know that it is misplaced. It is hard when it feels like the whole world is judging you, but know that you have people that care that are not judging, and know what it's like. Thank you for posting this, because while it might be just therapeutic for you, it is an encouragement for me...to know we are all in the same boat. None of us are alone in our struggles. God bless you. I'm praying for you and Conner, and I hope to hear good news soon!
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